He just said what you thought

I ran into the mother of one of my little guys at the Home Depot. She, like many parents, likes to reinforce the lessons we give the kids about values. They were talking about how we taught them that a karate persons's best weapons are a handshake and a smile.
"Yeah", he said, "You can hold him while you kick him in the shin."

Flying lessons = karate lessons

The National Association of Flight Instructors (NAFI) is the professional group for Certificated Flight Instructors (CFI) I belong to. I get an e-newsletter from them and this week it had a short and to-the-point article about student preparation. Apparently they have the same problem we have in getting our students to study. Sure, that's a problem anyway but flying lessons and karate lessons are not mandatory courses of study. They are electives, and they are luxuries.
I couldn't really understand how a person could spend the time and money on lessons and not study. Later I learned the reasons and classifications of students, etc. All that aside, the student is there with the instructor and just doesn't know the stuff.
The article states that you should let your students know you expect them to be prepared. You would think that's a given but it's not. Beyond that, the author states that your should let the student know that YOU prepared for the lesson. I totally agree.
I have all the instructors at the Ft. Myers school prepare lesson plans. They actually use them. And if you want to know how they work in their schools feel free to contact Kyle Zwarg at 239-481-9947 (K Zwarg's Karate) or Mike Squatrito at 239-543-0007 (Gulf Coast Kenpo).
I have been known to say, when I teach, such phrases as "When I was researching this" or 'When I reviewed my notes". The guys know I don't come in unprepared. I don't get in front of a seminar group and say "What do you guys want to work on?" like I've heard in the past. There are times when that may be appropriate, though.
The teacher/student thing is two-way. You expect them to prep and they should, too. Like the Boy Scouts, "Be Prepared".

This is the place

This is way overdue. I was sent this photo of the judo school I started at way back in 1967 last year and I've been delinquent in posting it. My friend-instructor/owner's son, Dave Zorich, sent it to me. Dave and I have met at the school in 1976 and reconnected some years ago. He still lives in Chicago with a wife and family.
The school was at 85th and Stony Island Ave on the South Side. I used to walk there almost every day after school, so I was a regular. I'd go on Saturday, too. Dave and I became buddies. He reminded me that it was he and I who gave that sign a fresh coat of paint. It was a long walk, too - about 2.5 miles each way (uphill both ways!) - which is a lot for a kid.
That school held a lot of great memories. It's where I met Carole Wolken, my first real Judo teacher. She's living in Tucson. I learned the physical and moral principles of judo there. As we got a little older, Dave taught me one of the really important lessons that I teach. That is, don't let judo people get their hands on you. I had gone off and learned some kenpo and came back to visit. Our family had moved so I couldn't train there anymore but I did go back to visit. Dave and I got on the mat to "compare" the styles. When he approached to grab I kicked him. Not hard, but I hit him and he was surprised. Then we hooked up. He hit me with a footsweep and went into an armlock with lightning speed. I had to tap-out.
Thus, the lesson.
Dave and I have maintained that mutual respect for each other. He attained at least a fourth black in Judo, and is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do as well. He attends my Chicago seminars whenever possible. He's teaching, too.
(Here is some trivia. You can't see it in the picture but the little office to the right, next door, is where Jesse Jackson's Operation Push started.)
So, to Joe and Dave Zorich, Carole, and the rest of the Shindo Kan bunch I say thanks for everything. You were the base of my experience and it meant more than you'll ever know.

The wierdness continues

The people who have worked with me in my studios over the many years can tell you some stories about some pretty strange and funny stuff. Just read my musings (rants)on my website for a sample. Well, even though I sold my school, the wierdness continues.
Last week I got an anonymous letter in the mail, postmarked Louisville, KY. The writer believes they have a degree of precognitive ability and proceeded to outline a few instances in which they were correct in their foretelling of danger or bad stuff happening. Needless to say, there were deaths and collapsing bridges described. I was told that my name had popped into their head and that they felt a need to warn me to be careful.
OK. I'll go for that.I'll keep looking both ways before I cross the street and pre-flight the airplane extra carefully. They said I could take it as a joke and hopefully, not as a threat. Ok, I'll buy that too. But they got a little too broad when they wrote that nothing bad was likely to happen to me but to one of my family, friends, co-workers, etc. I told the other pilot I was with in the airplane about it and he laughingly said he wished I hadn't told him that.
I know an awful lot of people. I hear about injuries, sickness, death and other bad stuff frequently. I just have to wonder about this person, who admits they sent me a form letter, and what drives them to send these letters out. Sure I understand they may be genuinely concerned for the welfare of their fellow human beings but on the other hand they may just be screwing with me. I'll keep you posted if there are any developments.

The doctor is in

Marc Rowe sent me a long article on girls and concussions. It was actually a little too long to post here so it's on my site in the articles section. What they're finding is that females don't withstand concussion causing impact as well as males. The effects are more severe and long-lasting. There was one comment that really jumped out at me, though.
They said that helmets would certainly help reduce the severity of the impact and its results but they were not sure that the wearing of a helmet would not ratchet up aggressiveness in play. Huh, you think they'd hit each other harder because they're protected? No kidding!
Back when the dipped foam safety gear showed up in the early 70's that was precisely the argument Ed Parker made against gear. He was convinced that the gear would make people think they could tag just a bit harder, and that's pretty much what happened. It was quite a controversy for some time. As you new people can see, the gear manufacturers and lawyers won out because most competition today is done with safety gear. And people still get hurt. They call it by other names, too, besides safety gear. Contact gear for one, which is probably more accurate.
When I had my school the insurance company mandated sparring with the gear because it's an industry standard now. But you can do self-defense all day without it. Some schools have the guys wear mouthguards and hand pads. That's probably a good idea. The gear has gotten better in construction and design so grabbing is not as much of a problem as it was many years ago. And it lasts longer. I had a pair that cracked the first time I made a fist.
Anyway, read the article on my site. Click resources, the articles and it's at the top.

Three P's

I was taking some annual refresher pilot training and took a course on Aeronautical Decision Making. What's that got to do with karate? Lots.
I've found in my life experience that many of the other activities I've been drawn to require the same decision-making processes as Kenpo. Why is that? Because we're human and we need this stuff. Some of our activities are more risky than others and the method of risk evaluation is more formalized. We are taught risk analysis and mitigation/prevention as kids when we learn to walk our bike across an intersection or look both ways before crossing a street.
In learning to ride a motorcycle I was taught SIPDE - scan, identify, predict, decide, and execute. In aviation it's Perceive, Process, and Perform. In Kenpo it's the eight considerations of combat that give us a handle on this but it's not organized the same way.
I thought I'd tease you with this because the meat of this will be in the Members section of my website. That's where I have full articles on aspects of Kenpo and instruction methodology. I add to it monthly at least, and more often at times. My aim is to have my Kenpo Instructor's Handbook published in there instead of as a book, along with other technical articles that I write and publish nowhere else. See http://www.leewedlake.com/index.asp?PageID=29 for info.

What goes around, comes around

An e-mail arrived in my website inbox yesterday. I was happy to see it was from the flight instructor who trained me for my instrument rating back about 20 years ago. His name is Stirling and he asked if I might be his "prized student who also taught karate". I'd lost touch with him many years ago when he went off to fly for American Airlines. He's back in Chicago and flying routes to the Orient on a Boeing 777.
When I was a new private pilot and working on my instrument rating Stirling would jump in the airplane with me and give me the dual instruction needed and never charged me a dime. After I passed the test I gave him a token gift as a thank you. He says he keeps it in his office, reminding him of "Something I did right in my life long ago" and that it inspires him today.
You just never know when something "small" you do will have such impact on a life. I occured to me that with all the volunteer time I give today as a flight instructor, it's a return on the investment Stirling made in me. Today I am providing volunteer instruction a man with the Naples squadron of the Civil Air Patrol who will be an instrument instructor.
What goes around, comes around.

Quick quote

"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose."

- Wayne Dyer

Some people

I've been teaching for a long time. When I was a young brown belt I had visions of training with a true Master. But those people are few and far between despite what the phone book and Internet would have you believe. If you have been to my seminars where they have introduced me as a Master you've heard me say I don't claim to be a master - I have much work left to do to deserve that. I am a master teacher, I'll buy that. But that's only one aspect.
Anyway, I understand the allure of training with a master, or saying you train with a master. I understand the "prestige", or maybe it's "street cred" today. And I understand the responsibility involved in such things, especially when one is labeled as a protege (how do you get the accent mark over the letters anyway?).
What's bugging me today is that I came across a website with the statement that the man "is a direct student of Lee Wedlake". I've had many people tell me they met so and so and he was a student of mine, or one of my black belts, or how they know me and we hang out, blah, blah, blah. And it's just not so. I even had a guy call my studio and tell my sister, who was working the desk, that we went to college together in Arizona and got our black belts at the same time. For one, the whole of my time in Arizona was in the Phoenix airport one time on a connection. Second, I took my black belt test alone. Actually, it was the second I took alone. The first was in a group and I flunked it. Where do we get such people? My sister was amazed.
This man with my name on his site took a total of about three private lessons and a few seminars. We never got past Short Form Two. I never certified him for anything. In fact, last time I spoke with him I told him we had no future in any kind of relationship because I had heard his bad-mouthing about me. Then he has the balls to call me and ask me to do a seminar. He did not deny he said the things but he still advertises my name on his site. If you e-mail me at wedlakekenposeminars@comcast.net I may tell you his name.
There's a guy in PA that has a diploma that I witnessed at his test and tells people he studied with me. I met him but I didn't train him. I guess it's easy to fall into the trap that you're in the lineage or whatever but please give credit where it's due. And don't take it when it's not. What do we do about this? Probably not much. We have people with fake Physician and Religion degrees. They get caught from time to time. And so do these people with the fake lineage. It catches up with them most of the time. I was with Frank Trejo at someones apartment in California many years ago and we noticed an IKKA black belt diploma on the wall. I said it looked fake. The man actually told us that it was and Frank said "I wish you hadn't told me that. I'm in charge of tracking these things down."
Be careful who you brag to.

The doctor is in

It seems this subject has been coming up weekly in my life. That subject is how we have become out-of-touch with ourselves due to the pressures exerted on us by technology on everyday life. This article is submitted by Dr. Rowe.

Kid contemplatives: UW neuroscientist's project aims to give middle-schoolers tools of 'mindfulness' and meditation

If gym class helps children tone the body, what helps them exercise the mind?

Homework and tests are logical answers, if proof of success is a higher GPA. But when the goal is to produce a more emotionally sturdy and thoughtful person, researchers suggest the ability to be still and contemplate is what can make a positive difference.

In 2008, local middle school students will among those who participate in a national pilot project that studies the effects of contemplation in the classroom, says Richard Davidson, a University of Wisconsin researcher/neuroscientist. (Time magazine selected him as one of the world's 100 Most Influential People of 2006.)

"Education," says colleague John Dunne of Atlanta's Emory University, "is not just about acquired knowledge but the development of virtues -- patience, kindness, learning how to be in a tough emotional situation without becoming unhinged."

Although researchers suspect the role of contemplation has value in educational settings, from kindergarten on up, it is rare for contemplative exercises to be a part of the school day.

Dunne, a former UW researcher, will return to Madison on Monday for "Contemplation and Education: Landscape of Research," a free panel discussion at the Wisconsin Union Theater. The event also features remarks by Davidson and the Rev. Thomas Keating of Colorado, founder of the centering prayer movement in Christianity.

"We're still trying to understand how these practices work" scientifically, in a grade K-12 setting, Dunne says. "It seems likely that there are things that can be done to regulate emotions effectively."

"The ground is ripe for this type of science to be conducted," says Davidson, whose work already has shown that meditation can change the way the brain works. In college students, Davidson says research at the UW and elsewhere shows that contemplative practices cause "changes in the brain that promote empathy, compassion, increased concentration."

Calmness, clarity

The upcoming work with middle schoolers will occur under the auspices of the nonprofit Mind and Life Institute, which for more than a year has studied whether and how to move contemplative practices into the classroom setting. Davidson chairs the initiative, which also involves Dunne.

Although in "an embryonic state," Davidson says the studies will focus on kindness, calmness and clarity of thinking. Participants will follow a contemplative practice that is "being designed from the ground up." Participants have not been selected, although "informal contacts with several schools" have been made.

Davidson expects the work to begin within six months. Middle school students are being targeted because early adolescence is a time of heightened vulnerability due to body and brain changes.

"If kids are going to make a wrong turn," Davidson says, "this is when it starts to occur." He is referring to substance abuse and other high-risk behaviors.

"The brain can change in response to training," he says, dismissing any notion of unwarranted mind control. "I think this is actually deprogramming" children from media influence and "returning the mind to its natural, unprogrammed state."

It's not religion

Centering prayer, meditation, breath work, chanting, sitting in silence, extended concentration on an object and focusing on positive thoughts and images are examples of contemplative exercises that can be taught.

The level of controversy associated with bringing the concept into classrooms in part depends upon the presence of religious overtones.

"In my view, it's not a religious issue," says Keating, because of the many forms that contemplation can take. "Silence is not denominational, and it can be practiced in a methodical way."

Sitting in silence for 20 minutes, twice a day, "gradually introduces us to our deeper self," but the academic world "allows no time or place to pursue this" in an organized manner. That includes seminaries, he says.

Keating soon will help Milwaukee's Marquette University introduce a centering prayer program. "The fact that they see a need for this is very encouraging," he says, describing Marquette as one of the few schools nationwide that is incorporating the practice into its curriculum.

Therapeutic value

Like Buddhist meditation, centering prayer for Christians is an age-old religious practice that has experienced a revival in contemporary times. Keating says both practices "transcend the rational mind" and are "a way to be present to psychological content of the moment."

There is similar value in "gazing at a beautiful sunset or ocean -- just enjoying" and being aware of the emotions that are aroused. The therapeutic value, Keating says, is in identifying and releasing "negative energy that had never really been processed," which becomes "like junk food if it stays stuck in our unconsciousness."

Thousands of centering prayer groups (including four in Madison) exist nationwide. The gatherings occur occur in setting from rural churches to maximum security prisons.

"Most people without a special (contemplative) practice tend to be pushed around by external events," Keating contends. In classrooms, "the younger the child, the easier it is" to teach contemplation because young participants typically aren't impeded by as much emotional baggage.

For Dunne, whose daughter is 5, teaching contemplation means spurts of "lovingkindness" meditation -- concentrating on positive thoughts. He says sustained attention on a specific object for a few minutes, once or twice daily, might be a good contemplative practice for a slightly older child.

"Mindfulness -- stepping back from your emotional state" and learning to feel it without being overwhelmed might be appropriate to introduce during adolescence, he says.

Some of these exercises, although deeply rooted in Eastern and other religions, can be effective and inoffensive in a secular setting, Dunne says. The effort is about using "mental technologies" that have religious origins, not pushing theology.

The goal of compassion, he notes as an example, is not the sole ownership of Christians or Buddhists. "It becomes a universal human value."

Kenpo Karate 601

While K-501 will be out around Thanksgiving, I've been working on K-601. I'm down to a few items needing completion. Ed Parker Jr is working on a cover design. I'll be shooting the photos soon, too. And my long-time friend and student Kurt Barnhart of Chicago will write the preface.
Kurt runs a small club in Burbank, a Chicago suburb, at the Japanese Cultural Center. He's been a student since I opened my school in Palos Hills, IL in 1976. His credentials include experience in Tae Kwon Do, Aikido, fifth black in Kenpo, and he's a certified yogi. Kurt took the helm once I left Chicago in 1991 and has been keeping the guys together since. I value his contribution to my next book. I ambitiously thought I could get the book out by December but with the delays on K-501, that's not going to happen. Maybe spring.
Another project I am working on is Lessons with Ed Parker and it's coming along well. This book will include his stories and my experiences with him over the decade-plus I worked with him. I'm excited about it. I'd like to hear from you about what sort of things you'd like to see in a book like this. So far, I've written it as being based on my notes from my lessons and then expanded on those notes by using examples of actual stories and applications on the mat and off. I think you're going to like this.

Spartanburg seminar

I was a guest of Coach Robert and his groups in the Carolinas over the weekend. He teaches in Spartanburg, SC and Columbus, NC. My student, Bruce Meyer, of Columbia, SC was there as was Keith Mathews of Canton, GA. Three states were represented and they were a great group to work with. The energy was positive and while we had a rather ambitious schedule, everyone hung in. Even the white and yellow belts stayed with the group through the sections on Short and Long Three. Great job, all!
It was my first time in that part of the Carolinas. The Blue Ridge mountains were visible from my hotel room and the leaves were changing. The air was nice and crisp, a departure from the steaming sub-tropical part of Florida I live in. Sure was nice.
The plan is to have me back in the spring and we'll have a date set soon.

Conflict resolution

This was taken from the Inner Idea online newsletter I get for fitness instructors. It's about conflict resolution and worth a few minutes of your time.

Presence: The Conflict Resolution Matrix
by Jim Gavin, PhD and Don de Guerre, PhD

We all have different styles of handling conflict. Embedded in these are our beliefs about ourselves and other people. Situational parameters also influence our responses. Scholars sort situations and people into categories by identifying key dimensions pertaining to the parties in conflict and the situations’ dynamics. The two most central dimensions relate to the importance of the outcome and the importance of the relationship. These factors vary from situation to situation and, consequently, so will your approach to conflict resolution.

Conflict Dynamics: The Basic Strategies
How invested are you in having things your way in a conflict? How important is it that the relationship remains viable? Let’s take marriage. You want your marriage to continue, and you really want to move to Seattle for that new job. Your spouse wants to stay in Poughkeepsie. That’s a tough conflict. Here’s an easier one: A perpetually truculent client wants you to buy a very expensive and, in your opinion, unnecessary piece of Pilates equipment; if you don’t, she’ll go to another studio. This is simple: You bid farewell.

Analyzing conflict using the importance of the outcome and the importance of the relationship provides insight into why people do what they do. The following four approaches to conflict resolution normally apply to variations on these two dimensions.

Detachment/Disinterest. You don’t care about the outcome or the relationship. You’re not going to lose sleep over the issue, no matter how it turns out.

An instructor is threatening to leave unless she gets a raise. She is easily replaceable, and the amount requested is miniscule. Whichever way it goes, you aren’t invested. Recognize, however, that she may have very different feelings about your relationship and the outcome—differences that could be consequential.

Accommodation/Appeasement. Keeping the relationship going is far more important to you than achieving your personal goal.

In this kind of conflict, you may accommodate the other person’s interests. You appease the person who wants your car, because he has a gun to your head. Even though your car is important to you, it is—relatively speaking—only a car.

Accommodation approaches can be habit forming. Being flexible about your personal goals is important, but putting yourself second to all others can be an ineffectual life stance.

Tough-Love Negotiation. You place equally high value on your goal and the relationship.

The move to Seattle isn’t going to happen unless your spouse comes with you willingly. You may think that tough-love negotiation is the ideal approach to conflict resolution. However, the temptation to push the eject button will be quite strong throughout the myriad challenges this process presents.

Goal-Centered Negotiation. You don’t care whether the other person likes you, whether the relationship continues or how badly the other person feels; you just want to win.

In the world of sports, we accept this approach with the proviso that certain rules are respected. It’s similar in business. You want to hire a yoga instructor being hotly pursued by the competition. You don’t care if the competition gets mad at you if she accepts your offer over theirs. Of course, ecology has something to say about this. The world is a very small place, so you can’t play cutthroat forever without the risk of “karma-uppance.”

Not the Whole Story
Now that you have some comfort with strategies related to conflict dynamics, let’s build on the basics. Three other factors influence our style of handling conflict: power, emotionality and time.

Power. We may believe that all people are created equal, but within organizations, all people do not have equal power. While power can be understood in terms of rank and role, it can also be defined by other aspects of a relationship. For example, what if someone has information critical to your success? How much power we perceive ourselves as having in relation to another person influences the strategies we choose.

It’s rare in a civilized world that one person has all the power. Employees can quit at inopportune times, spread nasty rumors and threaten legal action. We need to position people realistically, somewhere between powerless creatures and all-powerful foes.

Emotionality. Now comes a second juicy dynamic. Certain strategies are typically accompanied by more expressed emotion, and certain emotions can influence which strategies we use. We mentioned earlier that tough-love negotiation has some inherent challenges—one being the ability to express, tolerate and manage emotions. Think back to the Seattle job offer. Imagine how many lamplight discussions it might take to resolve this conflict amicably.

Even when appeasementis the approach, it’s likely someone will be pretty emotional. Having a gun to your head or an instructor saying negative things about you behind your back requires some emotional management. On the other hand, when you have an abundance of power and don’t care about the other person (goal-centered negotiation), it’s less likely that your emotions are outwardly churning.

Imagine you are emotionally detached or just going for the gold. But then a real-life human being with cuts and bruises gets inside your calculator and your heart. He tells his story, which encourages you to tell your story, which creates some openings, and—uh-oh—there you are in a more caring negotiation. Isn’t that what the whole Scrooge Christmas story is about?

Time. Completing the triad of factors influencing the matrix is that ever-present awareness of time. Back to the example of the yoga instructor you want to hire. You know she will get snapped up by the competition before you can say peanut butter, but your employees have, shall we say, diverse views. The clock is ticking. This is when you are most likely to say the following: “I’d love to hear your views, butas your director, I must go with my gut on this . . . because frankly, we just don’t have the luxury of time.”

Often, we may want to work it all through so everyone is satisfied and we reach commitment and consensus. Tough-love negotiationtakes time. You’re patient and hear the other person’s whole story. Then you respond carefully and in kind with your whole story. Conversely, consider the quickest scenario, which is that you simply don’t care. You are detached. Whatever!Decision made.

Somewhere between tough-love negotiationand detachmentis the situation in which you think you won’t need to deal with the other person tomorrow and it’s all about who wins. In this goal-centered negotiation, the process can go more swiftly; the person with the bigger this or the better that wins, although proving whose is bigger or better may take a little while.

Since life is full of conflicts, the better you can deal with them, the happier (and hopefully more successful) you will be. Your conflict management style may have less to do with logic than with your personal history and experiences. Before you engage the other person, know how much you want what is at stake and how much you are willing to “pay” for it. A discarded friend, employee, client or competitor could play a role in your future. Remember, the world is a small place. Time is money, but bad decisions are money, too. If you deem an objective important and you also value the person with whom you are in conflict, reaching a resolution will take time. That time will be well spent.

Form Four

The Form Four video is finished and I'll be sending it to the duplicator soon. People have been asking for this and I finally got to it.
What I did in this video is run the form four different ways. None are "fast" since I found that most people commented they can't follow form videos when they're done like that. I shot them from the four angles like I did in the previous form video so you can see it from the front, sides, and back views.
I show the variations and changes in the execution. I put the competition timing changes in one version, show two ways to do Thundering Hammer, and the cheater versions for people with bad knees and older students.
My last form video has gotten good reviews and it's not as costly as many. These are not instruction in that I don't teach you the form, that's for your instructor to do. But it will help you through as you're learning. Watch for it around Thanksgiving on my website at www.leewedlake.com.