What an insult

Years ago, when I had my first studio in Palos Hills, IL, I had a man named Ed Maul working with me. Ed and I had studied in a Tracy's-type school in Evergreen Park, IL together. Ed had been a manager there and I was a floating instructor, going between that school and another in Oak Forest, IL.
Ed was a funny guy, unique. Ed was very intelligent and a good fighter. He was kind of quirky and easily impugned. It was from Ed that I got the title of this article.
One Monday he was teaching a class and several students had been to a tournament over the weekend. We were big on competition back then and in the Chicago and Tri State area there was no shortage of events to attend. It was not unusual for the guys to come in during the early week to show us their trophies. Most of the time we were there with them to compete ourselves or at least to back them up if they needed us in an arbitration situation.
It was not unusual for Ed to get his back up over seemingly small things. This day he rather suddenly went off about how insulted he was by the students and their performance. ?????
Most of them didn't get it. I was in the office and overheard this and went out to listen.
Ed was upset and here is what he said. " I don't understand how you guys can go out and do your best for an absolute stranger to get that piece of plastic, but when you come in here you don't put out near the effort. You know me, and I know you. I have put effort into you to teach you the best I know how. You don't return that effort with your own, but you go out and do it for someone you don't even know."
It was pretty quiet, as you might expect. I've thought about that over many years. I have seen numerous instances of it in my teaching career. I agree with Ed, although I'm not so vocal about it. Sure, there are times when I've reamed someone for being disrespectful. I've found that even if I do it nicely it's still perceived as a real chewing-out. Remember the phrase "Praise in public, criticize in private." if you have to do this.
There are old, traditional Chinese martial art teachers who say that students will break your heart. Agreed. This is a two-way operation. Consider that people say "I'm taking karate". The teachers say "I give lessons". It's give and take; a partnership. That said, I see how Ed felt, and I've experienced it. Parents go through this all the time. Think about that when you read that the Chinese term for a teacher is Sifu, "teacher, father". And Sensei is translated as "teacher, professor or one who has gone before."
If you are a teacher, know this will happen and try not to take it personally. This can be difficult if you have a passion for the art, teaching, and truly have a vested interest in your students. Once in a while one will break your heart.
If you are a student, know you may do this or be perceived as doing so. The solution is to give your best, even when you just don't feel like it. It is part of your obligation as a student. I think the attitude may be that the teacher is a babysitter, or a merely a paid employee. Not so, Grasshopper. this person can change your life. Show your appreciation by showing effort.
I could go on about this but I think I've made my point.